White Guilt...

By Tom Adkins

Look at my fellow conservatives! There they go, glumly shuffling along, depressed by the election aftermath. Not me. I'm virtually euphoric. Don't get me wrong. I'm not thrilled with America's flirtation with neo socialism. But there's a massive silver lining in those magical clouds that lofted Barak Obama to the Presidency. For today, without a shred of intellectually legitimate opposition, I can loudly proclaim to America: The Era of White Guilt is over.

This seemingly impossible event occurred because the vast majority of white Americans didn't give a fluff about skin color, and enthusiastically pulled the voting lever for a black man. Not just any black man. A very liberal black man who spent his early career race-hustling banks, praying in a racist church for 20 years, and actively worked with America-hating domestic terrorists. Wow! Some resume! Yet they made Barak Obama their leader. Therefore, as of Nov 4th, 2008, white guilt is dead.

For over a century, the millstone of white guilt hung around our necks, retribution for slave-owning predecessors. In the 60s, American liberals began yanking that millstone while sticking a fork in the eye of black Americans, exacerbating the racial divide to extort a socialist solution. But if a black man can become President, exactly what significant barrier is left? The election of Barak Obama absolutely destroys the entire validation of liberal white guilt. The dragon is hereby slain.

So today, I'm feeling a little "uppity," if you will. From this day forward, my tolerance level for having my skin color hustled is now exactly ZERO. And it's time to clean house. No more Reverend Wright's "God Damn America," Al Sharpton's Church of Perpetual Victimization, or Jesse Jackson's rainbow racism. Cornell West? You're a fraud. Go home. All those "black studies" programs that taught kids to hate whitey? You must now thank Whitey. And I want that on the final.

Congressional Black Caucus? Irrelevant. Maxine Waters? Shut up. ACORN? Outlawed. Black Panthers? Go home and pet your kitty. Black separatists? Find another nation that offers better dreams. Go ahead. I'm waiting.

Gangsta rappers? Start praising America. Begin with the Pledge of Allegiance. And please…no more Ebonics. Speak English, and who knows where you might end up? Oh, yeah…pull up your pants. Your underwear is showing. You look stupid.

To those Eurosnots who forged entire careers hating America? I'm still waiting for the first black French President.

And let me offer an equal opportunity whupping. I've always despised lazy white people. Now, I can talk smack about lazy black people. You're poor because you quit school, did drugs, had three kids with three different fathers, and refuse to work. So when you plop your Colt 45-swilling, Oprah watchin' butt on the couch and complain "Da Man is keepin' me down," allow me to inform you: Da Man is now black. You have no excuses.

No more quotas. No more handouts. No more stealing my money because someone's great-great-great-great grandparents suffered actual pain and misery at the hands of people I have no relation to, and personally revile.

It's time to toss that massive, obsolete race-hustle machine upon the heap of the other stupid 60s ideas. Drag it over there, by wife-swapping, next to dope-smoking. Plenty of room right between free love and cop-killing. Careful…don't trip on streaking. There ya go, don't be gentle. Just dump it. Wash your hands. It's filthy.

In fact, Obama's ascension created a gargantuan irony. How can you sell class envy and American unfairness when you and your black wife went to Ivy League schools, got high-paying jobs, became millionaires, bought a mansion, and got elected President? How unfair is that??? Now, Like a delicious O'Henry tale, Obama's spread-the-wealth campaign rendered itself moot by it's own victory! America is officially a meritocracy. Obama's election has validated American conservatism!

So, listen carefully…Wham!!!

That's the sound of my foot kicking the door shut on the era of white guilt. The rites have been muttered, the carcass lowered, dirt shoveled, and tombstone erected. White guilt is dead and buried.

However, despite my glee, there's apparently one small, rabid bastion of American racism remaining. Black Americans voted 96% for Barak Obama. Hmmm. In a color-blind world, shouldn't that be 50-50? Tonight, every black person should ask forgiveness for their apparent racism and prejudice towards white people. Maybe it's time to start spreading the guilt around.

Tom Adkins is the publisher of CommonConservative.com

"Duty is ours, results are God's" -- John Quincy Adams

I should start a new church over this...

My theology is in question...

2 Take with you seven of every kind of clean animal, a male and its mate, and two of every kind of unclean animal, a male and its mate... (NIV)

2 You shall take with you seven each of every clean animal, a male and his female; two each of animals that are unclean, a male and his female... (NKJV)

2 Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female. (KJV)

2 Take with you seven pairs of all clean animals, the male and his mate, and a pair of the animals that are not clean, the male and his mate... (ESV)

Each of these passages is taken from Genesis chapter 7, and from a variety of versions. It appears to the uneducated (me) that we've had it all wrong for centuries. If taken in context, it would seem that Noah took seven of every sort of the clean animals, each with its mate; and two of every sort of unclean animal each with its mate.

Is it just my math or does that look like four of each animal NOT two?

I don't read or write in Hebrew so I am not qualified to do research or translation. But, I think that the people who made these translations are (hopefully) qualified. Now I have seen other versions that very clearly read "seven pairs, each with its mate...and one pair... (with no mate mentioned)" but the four that I have quoted from are the ones I trust most. The ESV seems to be a bit more ambiguous that the others.

I am not really gonna start up a church, but I think it's just kind of interesting. And if I'm right, the upside would be that it becomes much easier to defend how St. Bernards and Poodles all came from the same FOUR dogs rather than two. Hooray for the good guys.

So...in conclusion, if there are any out there that do read and/or write in Hebrew, please help me out here. The salvation of all the saints could be in jeapardy (just kidding).

Aikido...

Jordan and I have begun taking Aikido lessons. It's pretty cool. Our instructor Senpai Shant Palanjian is way cool. He can be no-nonsense when he needs to be, but he doesn't lose his sense of humor. He is patient with us both and will repeat instruction as many times as necessary till we get it. We all like him very much. I think Jordan is his star pupil :)

Aikido as Shant says is not a competition, but rather a partnership. The students learn together and help each other learn. We all learn both sides of each technique, attacker and defender. Besides being necessary for safety, it helps us to know how the motions are intended to flow correctly. Aikido is a true martial art (my opinion). That is, it's more than just self defense. It's a beautiful art form. Sometimes I feel like we are literally dancing the way we spar and evade one another.

I have a video of the demonstration we took part in a few weeks ago. If I can get it put into digital form I will post it here. It's worth a look-see.

Little Green Men

So...I was thinking about the "Drill here, drill now" thing. I was wondering why the tree-huggers are so against it. I agree that dislocating animals and wildlife out of their natural habitat is not a nice thing to do.

But...the Green People are forgetting that there are just as many flora and fauna being effected by drilling in Saudi Arabia as there would be in the tundra wasteland of Alaska or the badlands of Montana or North Dakota, or even in the Rocky Mountains.

Why are they not shouting THAT from the rooftops? Does "Earth First" stop at some national border somewhere? Are we not ALL living on the same Earth? Is "Global Warming" happening only in America?

I have an idea...let's take the matter into our own hands (American hands) and solve American problems with American solutions on American soil. Imagine the effect of have 100% energy and oil independence.

Watch as all of those princes and Sheiks over there sell their Cadilacs so they can buy a gallon of gas. Kinda makes you smile, doesn't it?